Within the next year I will be bridesmaid in two of my closest friend’s weddings. I’m also one of the last women in my social circle left with a bare ring finger and I’m completely cool with it. I’m not cool with the fact that it’s often cheaper to buy in bulk at the grocery store but I’m content with my life and the direction that it is going in.
Admittedly I’m nervous. The last time I was in a wedding party I was eleven years old. I was to be a junior bridesmaid in the church choir director’s wedding. I was pulled from it at the last minute because I had done something wrong. Something along the lines of stealing or lying I can’t remember, however I do recall vividly sitting scornfully in the pulpit as all my other church friends got to shine as junior bridesmaids in their white and navy dresses.
It’s a big undertaking being a bridesmaid; her main responsibility is to make sure the bride keeps her head on straight, she’s part friend, consultant and psychiatrist. She helps out with wedding details, plans the bridal shower and prays that her dress is somewhat figure flattering. Sound stressful right?
Breathe! Let’s take a look at the role of bridesmaid from a different perspective for once. Here are eight benefits of being the bridesmaid who has yet to catch the bouquet:
1. The bride is your guinea pig: This is time to do your homework, be a resourceful maid while taking notes on what worked as well as the areas for improvement with the bride’s wedding
2. Learn the art of compromise: If you’re used to having things your way, then role of the bridesmaid will teach you a big lesson about compromise. There will be many aspects of the wedding you would do differently, but this is not your day and you will be required to step out of your comfort zone on many occasions and often negotiate.
3. Rock your event planner hat: What could be more exciting than planning a bridal shower? Although a bit sentimental, it’s your last blow out as bachelorettes together, and it’s up to you to make it count.
4. Value system is reinforced: That image in your mind of Mr. Right is enhanced when you see the bride and groom interact. Hopefully it’s a match made in heaven, but you get an even better idea from interacting so closely with them of what a genuine love relationship is all about and true is love is contagious!
5. Likely to set a date: Believe it or not there will be single men “scouting” at weddings and in the wedding party so it’s the perfect opportunity to meet a potential love interest. Also a woman who is genuinely interested in weddings may end up attracting a man who is ready to settle down, like attracts like.
6. Teamwork: Rallying together with the other bridesmaids and members of the wedding party requires teamwork. There is no I in team and being a part of a bridal party can prep you for life as the matriarch of your future family.
7. Form new relationships: Speaking of homework, you may be called to tag along with the bride to various vendors and bridal shops. This is also a great opportunity to do some “window shopping” which can translate into savings on your end when it’s time for your big day.
Traditionally the role of bridesmaid was a way for a single woman to present herself to society in hopes of capturing the heart of a suitable bachelor. Today in 2011 a bridesmaid is the Jane of all trades, she oversees, she soothes, she conducts, she entices and so much more. Whether it’s your first or 27th time stepping into the role of the bridesmaid, remember that although it’s the bride’s big day, eyes are also on you.
Do you agree with the saying three times a bridesmaid never a bride? Why or why not?
Have you ever been a part of a wedding party? Any exciting stories? Any takeaways?
Tell me about it!
About the author:
Telisha Ng is a freelance writer and author of the Goddess Intellect blog from Toronto, Canada. Love what you’re reading? Vote Goddess Intellect for Best International Blog in the 2011 Black Weblog Awards.